


Slippery Slopes

by Daxolotl



Series: TORstuck Treats [1]
Category: Homestuck, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: F/F, Incest, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 04:32:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3161360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daxolotl/pseuds/Daxolotl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ex-Acolyte Rose Lalonde has business on Nar Shaddaa, but she needs information. Imperial Intelligence Agent Roxannya may just have the information she needs. Obviously, they meet for drinks. Anything else would be uncivilised. There are just two problems to their meeting. Roxy's being shadowed, and Rose doesn't realise that the agent is her sister.</p>
<p>This is a Treat for Innsmouth, for Ladystuck Treats 2014.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slippery Slopes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Innsmouth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Innsmouth/gifts).



> This is a completely self-indulgent crossover fanfic, placing Rose and Roxy Lalonde into the universe of Star Wars: The Old Republic.
> 
> For Innsmouth, following this prompt:
> 
> "If you know me, you know I love my Lalondecest, because I'm fucking trash.
> 
> If fic, I'd prefer a happy ending (because god knows I've written enough angsty bullshit), but you definitely can put them through the wringer along the way."
> 
> I wanted to write a Treat for Innsmouth, because she deserves treats, and this was an idea that wouldn't leave my head. I had way too much fun writing it.

Nar Shaddaa is, in a word, a shithole. There's a smuggler with a twitchy blaster finger on every corner, and the whole planet reeks of shvash gas and despair. But it's to here that a young Acolyte has reason to go, and so it's here that she finds herself.

She's tracking an ancient artefact held by a rich and probably-obnoxious businessman living on the Smuggler's Moon. There was a Sith contact who could help her to track him down, but the man was slimier than a Hutt sneeze and twice as unpleasant. (Ex-)Acolyte Rose Lalonde has someone else she can go to. She looks up at the glowing lights of the Slippery Slopes Cantina and steps within.

Her contact is looking exceptionally relaxed. The young Imperial Intelligence operative sits at a chair, feet resting atop the table in front of her and an unlit ryll between her lips. "Lord Lalonde," she greets. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Quite the surprise, I'm sure." Rose takes a seat opposite Roxannya and the agent takes her feet off the table. She leans forwards, close to the Sith, and Rose bristles. "Act normal," Roxy murmurs, taking the ryll stick from her lips and sliding a lighter across the table. "Light the spice, make it look casual. There are two Gamorreans over by the bar who've been nursing those same drinks for an hour and a Twi'lek dancer who hasn't been doing much of the dancing thing since I arrived."

Rose quirks a brow and lifts the lighter, flicking it on. The fire briefly illuminates Roxy's face before burning the paper of the cheap drug. "Friends of yours?" she asks, and Roxy laughs out sweet-smelling smoke.

"Does anyone have friends on Nar Shaddaa? They'll probably try to hassle or murder me later tonight." she responds, breathing deeply. "Don't call me Agent, either. As far as this rock is concerned, I'm just an attractive and roguish smuggler who does business with the Empire." She leans back and. "What can I do for you, my Lord?"

"Do for me? Maybe I just enjoy your company, Roxy. You are attractive and roguish, after all." Rose smirks, and Roxy rolls her eyes.

"I'm sure. In that case, you're buying the next round."

Rose mulls the option over. "I'm looking for a human businessman. He's supposedly rich, powerful, and has a hobby of collecting ancient Sith artefacts. I want them back."

One of the two Gamorreans by the bar leaves. Roxy watches them pass the table by. "Anything more specific to tell me? A name might help. 'Businessman with creepy Sith relics' isn't a lot to go on here."

Rose sighs. "Welcome to my world. It has your choice of vagaries, contradiction or obfuscation."

The agent groans. "Welcome to the new world, same as the old world. I'll work on it. I have a few contacts here. At the least I should be able to track down a record of antique sales." Roxy swirls her bright purple drink around in its glass and then finishes it. "But, y'know, I work a lot better for people who buy me a drink."

"Are you asking a Sith to bribe you, Roxy?" Rose asks.

Roxy grins, spinning the ryll between her slender fingertips before stubbing it out on the table. "And if I am?"

"Then I might be tempted to take you up on that offer."

Roxy pulls out her holocom, unclipping an earpiece from it and placing it on the side of her head. "You buy me a drink. Something bright-coloured and strong enough to make me see double. I'll make a call or two."

Rose gets to her feet, wandering across to the bar and standing next to the remaining Gamorrean. She glances over at him and he grunts. _Still on the same drink. Good eyes, agent_ , she thinks, before getting distracted by the Bartender. After requesting two of the pinkest drink they have, Rose wanders back to the table and slides both glasses across its surface.

Roxy seems to be finishing up a holocall. "We have, huh? That's great. And…oh, _very_ nice. Think we can arrange it in time? …That's perfect. Thanks, Shara. You're a lifesaver. Possibly literally. I'm workin' with a Sith over here." She hangs up and pulls out her earpiece, clipping it back into the holocom. "Good news."

Rose takes a seat and quirks her brow. "You have my attention."

Roxy takes a slow sip of her drink, sighing contentedly afterwards and seeming to revel in making the Sith wait for an answer. "Turns out, there's three collectors on Nar Shaddaa who like Sith relics. I've done deals with them in the past, and my team keeps track of their other purchases in case we're being undercut," A lie, but it made sense coming from someone who looked like a smuggler. She pauses to glance at the last few patrons as they leave. "There are two humans and one Force-blind Pureblood, if you can believe it. One of the humans is a woman, which leaves us with a grand total of one person on Nar Shaddaa who it can be. Ortoc Kidaan. He's rich, obnoxious, careful, well-protected…and going to a party in the Corellian Sector tomorrow night."

"Consider my interest piqued," Rose responds, tasting her drink and resisting the urge to make a comical 'bluh' face. "You sound like you have a plan."

Roxy beams. "That would be because I do."

Despite herself, Rose smiles. The Agent is (dare she say it) _cute_ when she has a plan.

"My team can call in a few favours to get you into the party. After that, you can" Roxy is rudely interrupted by being shot in the back. The blast slams her forwards, knocking her head against the table before she falls to the floor.

"Roxy!"

Rose draws her lightsaber, holding it out to face the bartender who just shot her friend. To the left of him, a Gamorrean holds out a blaster pistol in one hand and an axe in the other. The dancer wanders over, taking an assault cannon almost as big as she is from behind the counter.

They all take aim. Rose growls and enters a defensive stance with her lightsaber.

Roxy rolls over and shoots the bartender twice in the chest. "Asshole," she mutters, and the other two open fire.

Rose gets over her momentary shock and steps in front of the agent, deflecting blaster bolts with long twirls of her blade. Roxy stands up, wincing a little and checking her blaster pistol. "I want a better gun," she adds, before stepping out from behind the Sith and shooting at the counter. A glass explodes and expensive liquor is vaporised. The aggressors take cover, giving Rose a break in the shooting to take cover. Roxy knocks down a table and takes cover behind it.

Rose glances over her shoulder toward the entrance, only to see the second Gamorrean return with a pair of heavily-armed bounty hunter types alongside… 

_Oh, damn it._

Leading the pack, a Sith Lord stands before them.

"Good evening," he says, diplomatically.

"Roxy, this just got more complicated."

The Lord holds up a hand. "Hold your blade and your blaster for but a moment."

Behind the overturned table, Rose hears Roxy snort. Which absolutely doesn't make her hold back a smile.

"Oh, so now you want to monologue? After shooting me in the back? You fried my damn shield generator!"

"I advise your smuggler friend to hold her tongue, Sith."

"Sorry, what am I supposed to be holding? My blade, my blaster, or my tongue? I'm not good with multitasking."

Damn it, Roxy. Rose cracks a smile despite herself. The bounty hunters approach and Rose steps into the central point between the bar and the entrance, lightsaber pointed downwards. "So? What is it that you wanted to tell us? If you monologue, I may be forced to sear your windpipe shut."

Roxy lifts her hand above her cover to give Rose a thumbs-up.

"Oh, don't worry; I'm not here to monologue. Actually, I mainly wanted to stall the fight so that my associates could get into a more favourable position to kill you. Draahg wanted me to wait, but I don't think I'll have too much trouble killing an acolyte and a smuggler, do you?"

The bounty hunters raise their pistols. Behind the bar, the Gamorrean and the Twi'Lek stand up, aiming their weapons at Roxy's cover.

"You'd be surprised what an acolyte and a smuggler are capable of, Sith," Rose retorts, raising her lightsaber. "Roxy, now!"

She crouches and throws out her lightsaber behind her, arcing it around. It cuts through the Twi'Lek and the Gamorrean. Roxy vaults her cover, shooting the first bounty hunter half a dozen times and throwing out her portable cover generator. It bounces over the floor of the cantina and Rose pulls it in with the force. It activates in front of the Sith, and the second bounty hunter's shots dissipate harmlessly against its surface.

The bounty hunter changes tactic and aims at Roxy…at the exact moment that Rose's lightsaber finishes its rotation around the room. She swings it in a long slash, cutting one of his pistols in half, along with his skull.

Roxy walks towards the group. Rose stands before a Sith and a Gamorrean as the bounty hunter topples to the floor. She smirks.

The Sith roars and leaps forwards, smashing a fist through the portable cover. Rose and Roxy stagger, and he follows it up with a series of slow, heavy slashes at the acolyte. Rose blocks, stepping backwards under the weight of his attacks. Roxy steadies herself and aims her blaster pistol, only to have her gun slashed in half by a Gamorrean axe. "Oh, damn it all," she mutters, ducking under a second swing and drawing her vibroknife.

Rose regains her footing, force pushing the Lord back a step and following up with a flurry of attacks. He was stronger than her, but she was faster. She clashes blades with him, pushing them both to the one side, then slashes the other way, leaving a shallow cauterised cut across his arm. She shrugs, and he roars again.

The Gamorrean swings wildly at Roxy, and the agent twists herself out of the way of another slash before locking her blade against his, stepping forwards and grabbing the handle of the axe. She angles the blade towards her foe and starts pushing it forwards, inch by inch, only to be distracted by a knee to the gut. She staggers backwards, winded.

"I will make you wish you had never been born, acolyte! Do you know who I am?!"

"Haven't the foggiest," Rose retorts, and raises her free hand to shoot lightning from her fingertips. It catches the Sith in the throat and he claws at it, making pathetic gasping sounds. She did tell him about monologuing. She warned him. He surges forwards, slashing with a crazed look in his eyes.

Roxy twirls the vibroknife in her hand, regaining her breath, and lifts one hand to gesture the Gamorrean forwards. He takes the invitation gladly, stepping forwards with a long vertical slash. Roxy sidesteps, stabbing him once in the stomach before dropping to a crouch, severing his Achilles tendon (or whatever it is that Gamorreans have; Roxy was never great with alien anatomical terms). He howls in pain and drops to one knee, and she puts him out of his misery with a knife through the back of his neck. She twists it once, wiggles it, and pulls it free.

Rose is on the defensive once again, facing an enraged Sith with more lightsaber skill than she has. She clashes lightsabers to try and slow him down, holding it for as long as she can. She grits her teeth under the strain.

"Hey, _asshole!_ "

The Sith turns toward the voice, only to see a large Gamorrean axe spinning straight towards his face. He holds out a hand and knocks it aside in midair. "Pathetic child," he gasps out, his voice rough from the lightning burns. "Did you truly think that could stop me?"

"No," Rose responds. "She didn't. But that wasn't what she was trying to do." She holds her lightsaber one-handed and shoots lightning from her fingertips, hitting the distracted Sith squarely in the chest. He screams and steps backwards, bringing his lightsaber up to deflect the attack.

Energy surges from Rose's fingertips to his lightsaber and is deflected back to Rose's own saber. She steps towards him slowly. Roxy lifts up a blaster rifle from the first fallen bounty hunter and blasts him in the back. He falls to his knees. She blasts him again, and the lightsaber slips from his grasp. He's struck by the full force of Rose's lightning and, after a moment, he falls to the floor.

The two of them stare at the dead Sith at their feet. "So, piss off any Sith Lords lately?" Roxy asks, checking the power cell of her borrowed blaster and then dropping it to the floor.

"Other than the obvious? Not that I'm aware of. This wasn't her style. I'll contact Red to see if she can shed any light on his murderous intentions."

Roxy groans. "Damn it all. I'm going to get myself caught up in another Sith power grab, aren't I?"

"Another one?" Rose asks. "When was the first?"

"…That's classified."

"Uh huh." The Sith deactivates her lightsaber and hooks it to her belt, turning to give Roxy a flat look.

Cipher Agent Roxy Lalonde grumbles. "Stupid sexy Sith."

"Sexy? Careful, Agent, I might think you're flirting with me."

"And if I am?" the agent winks and walks away, swaying her hips more than strictly necessary. "Come on, my Lord. We've got a fancy party to infiltrate."

Rose stares at Roxy's retreating form for longer than she probably should before catching up with what's just been said. "We?"


End file.
